Elizabeth Johnson When I was younger, high school-aged I supposed, I never pictured myself as an older mom. I knew I wanted to go to college first, but I never imagined I would be pregnant at 40.
In full disclosure, I’m actually 41 and by the time I deliver my baby (child number 4), I will be 42. Forty-two how did that happen?
It was surprising and somewhat annoying, to be told that I was considered a geriatric pregnancy for my previous pregnancy at the ripe old age of 35+.
Geriatric!
Like I would need to push a walker as I take my turns around the hospital halls to progress labor.
If you are an older mom like me, please keep reading so we might commiserate in our old age. Insert eye roll here.
How I Became an Older Mom
Like many women these days I went to college and waited to get married. And when my husband and I finally did marry at 27 we waited to have children until we were ready—whatever that means.
Already I was married older than I had imagined and at that point, it seemed I would be destined to be an older mom.
If I know anything about being a parent is that there is no such thing as being ready or the perfect time. Each child and situation is unique. And there will always be some challenges in some form.
After waiting about 5-6 years my husband was finally convinced that we should start having children by going to a church-related men’s retreat. I couldn’t tell you how long it would have been otherwise.
Needless to say, my original dream of having a large family was already in question. And my older mom status was a sure thing.
How I Became Pregnant at 40
My first child, a daughter, was a dream. She literally was the perfect baby that slept for 11 hours a night at 5 weeks.
Really.
She was smart as a whip, so when our son was more challenging it was a bit of a surprise.
It was harder getting pregnant again. I ended up needing to go to a specialist. After running dye through my fallopian tubes, he said I was fine (no older mom problems) and that it was likely mucus in my tubes from giving birth.
I was pregnant within two months.
So, two and a half years after our daughter we had our son. He was a challenge from day one.
The doctor couldn’t figure out what was wrong with him. He woke up often all through the night and had a hard time gaining weight.
When I mentioned to the doctor that he had an abnormal amount of bowel movements she told me it was in my head. I really hate it when they do that.
Well, in the end, we found out that he had a sensitivity to soy. And since we were already told that our daughter had a dairy sensitivity, I was on a soy substitute diet. The poor thing was getting soy through my breast milk.
Tip: You can find some info on soy-free food on this blog.
Aren’t You Done Having Babies?
I suppose many people thought we should be done having kids. After all, we had one of each. But I still wanted the big family I had always dreamed of.
We waited a while before trying for our next child. I wanted to have our son mostly potty trained due to all the bathroom issues he had.
We had another little girl. And she is sweet, smart, and beautiful.
We waited a while before trying again to allow my hormones to settle. A little bit of life happened in between. And then the unthinkable—the pandemic.
We held off getting pregnant for a while to see how things were going.
It’s been wild, for everyone.
But here we are. We decided to go ahead and have our 4th child. I’m over two and a half months along and pregnant at 40, well, 41.
Feeling Like an Older Mom
I had morning sickness with all of my children. Here I am again, not feeling well by week 6.
But this time it is utterly exhausting. Maybe it’s because I’m pregnant at 40 or maybe it’s because I’m an older mom. Or maybe it’s simply because I have three children ages 8, 5, and 2.
One thing is for certain, kids don’t stop. Not even for a pregnant mom.
Older mom or not, I have my hands full. At this point, I think this will be our last child. I think we could have had six if we had started earlier.
And maybe we still will have more. Not by me. I’m done with being pregnant at 40.
I could see us fostering or adopting at some point, but for now, I want to try to do my best for the family I have. I don’t know if it’s in my head or if it’s reality, but I feel like an older mom this time around. It’s all a bit harder.
Final Thoughts on Being an Older Mom That’s Pregnant at 40
One of my husband’s sisters just got married and as her husband recently turned 30, I realized that I see a lot of ourselves in them. Waiting to get married when the time was right, and I’m sure waiting to have babies as well.
I truly believe everyone needs to do their own thing. Deep down you know what is best for you and your family. Yet, I secretly want to warn her.
Don’t wait!
It’s a trick.
Being an older mom is a challenge for many reasons. And now my fear is passing too young to enjoy my own grandchildren. Or to leave my children feeling alone as they struggle through young adulthood.
I honestly don’t know what the right answer is. I’m offended by the idea of anyone thinking I’m too old to have children. But I have those moments where I question it myself.
In the end, we all have to do what we can. Live one day at a time, try to eat right, and exercise. And trust that God or the universe, or whatever you believe in will guide your path.
If no one has told you lately, you are doing great. You are perfect just the way you are. And you will be a wonderful mother whether you are an older mom or not.
If you are looking for more family tips or baby posts, please check out the other articles on my blog.
